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my sewing and costuming pages
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my personal site
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free fonts made by yours truly
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whatever I'm currently up to
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the things that got me picked on growing up
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whatever I'm currently whining about
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8.31.00, 4:38pm
Well, I improved. I feel OK. Sorta.
Lots of little tweaks in 4th Fate, a new page: Costuming Heresy.
8.31.00, 6:17am
The only reason I'm going to work this morning is that someone is coming in at 8 to take "the test." The test is something that Allen came up with, to weed out the people worth our time to interview.
If I thought that anyone there could handle setting someone up with the test, I'd have called in, given instructions, and spent the rest of the day in bed; I feel horrible.
If, by the time that Linda gets in, and I get everything I planned to do today done, I still feel crummy, I'm going home.
8.30.00, 4:02pm
There exists a possibility that I may have to find a new job. It is a very small chance, but also a real chance.
So I was thinking, what jobs do I never, ever want to do. These are the things that I would eat out of a McDonald's dumpster before doing.
- Supermarket Cashier: Did this for a year and a half. "Is plastic OK?" really means "May I strangle you with this baggie." "Have a nice day" really means "Please go somewhere and die messily so I don't have to check your expired-coupon, arguing-over-10-cents ass though my line ever again."
- Fast food: in any way, shape or form. I can't think of a crappier job.
- Food, in general: I stress more in jobs where I'm handling food than I do in jobs where I'm handling other people's money. Though this is one that I'm good at. Scary, huh?
- Any job that forces me to come into contact with the general public (with the exceptions of a comic shop or fabric store. Maybe a cool costume shop would be ok, too.)
- Any job where I cannot have whatever hair color I choose: All of my jobs have been like that until now. I refuse to go back; I *like* pink hair. And green hair. And blue. And purple. And any other color that catches my eye. (This *really* pisses me off if it's a job where your customers can't see you, too. I temped somewhere that was like this - on the phone all day with people, nobody but the people I worked with to see me, and I STILL had to dress up. What's with that?)
- Any job where I have to make calls all day.
- Any job where I have to answer phonecalls all day. (Yep, no tech support or customer service. Been there, done that, ain't doing it again.)
- Waitress: this would just be a bad career choice; the first person who complained would be wearing his meal.
Of course, this IS me, so I have to think of the exceptions...
I'd do tech support if I was paid approximately $50,000/yr plus benefits to do it. There is no way in hell that I will ever do Customer Service again as long as I live.
I'd work in a decent, not too busy restaurant, either as a cook or doing prep work. It isn't glamourous, but it isn't that bad.
8.30.00, 6:15am
I am so very tired. I know I got enough sleep, but I'm not inclined to be awake yet. Despite the (not quite so) skillful application of makeup, I still look like I haven't slept in a week.
It ought to get better as the day goes on, but yeesh!
The corset I was working on last night is coming along nicely. It's an 18th century style, but still looks rather like one of my ren bodices. (The fact that I've omitted almost all of the dagging/picadils/tabs/whatever you want to call them doesn't help the effect.) Tonight, I deal with the boning. Tomorrow, I bind the edges if I haven't yet, and do the gromms. It should be ready to wear for Sat. night.
Then Sat. day, I want to either make a new bodice for my brown 'bethan, or a new leine for my Scottish Peasant. If I make the bodice for the brown, I can do a nifty nobles on Monday, when I'm going to faire. Of course, I can be a pain in the butt, and go ElizaGoth.. black bodice and skirt, white chemise, and showing off the pink in my hair, rather than hiding it.
But I've got that whole historical accuracy thing going on; it hurts to contemplate wearing something with grommets instead of hand-worked eyelets. And the only reason more of my hair isn't pink is because it's rather tough to hide. I know that many of the things seen at Faire are less than accurate, but.. I try.
8.29.00, 6:21am
Had a bit of excitement last night; someone set off the fire alarm with a stove fire around 3 am. Mike and I awoke to this terrible shrieking alarm, realized what it was, scrambled for clothes, the laptop, wallets, and shoes (in that order!)
We were back in bed by 3:40, the threat being a tiny one, if at all any more. And of course, neither of us could sleep for the longest time.
And to make it worse, I woke up at that ungodly hour with the CHICKEN DANCE stuck in my head. The Chicken Dance, for crying out loud! (And yes, it's still there. Arrrreeeegh!)
8.28.00, 4:16pm
You know how sometimes food is just entirely unappetizing? You know you need to eat (and in my case, it's extremely bad for me not to eat; it could make my metabolism drop even more) but just don't feel like dealing with finding/preparing food, and aren't really hungry, and in fact feel vaguely pukeadelic on top of all that?
Yeah. Well, that's how I felt all day. Now, I'm hungry. But I still feel crummy. And I know there's just about nothing I want to eat at home. *sigh*
Maybe I'll be smart and stop somewhere and get something on the way home. It's unlikely, though. I've got a headache (not hunger-related; this one is eyestrain), and just want to go home so I can be not-there for a while.
8.28.00, 4:02pm
Whoo.. exactly 10 hours since the last blurb. And I wonder where my life (what little of one that I posess..) is frittering off to..
Found out today that a person I'm not romantically linked to, and isn't one of my bestest friends is actually reading my page! That is soooo cool!
Gives me an actual reason to attempt coherency, too, seeing as I'm usually not exactly the easiest to understand on here. Think it'll make a difference? Nahh, me neither.
8.28.00, 6:02pm
Walking to the train station, I literally had my autobiography running though my head. I have this total urge to write it all down, but I won't.
This weekend was.. not so good. Not really bad, though. More of a "nothing reached resolution" sort of thing. Which I really don't like. It makes me feel stressier than usual. (My stomach is all knotted up as an after effect, on top of my usual morning uckiness. The train station smells like fish sticks and ketchup this morning.. if I'd eaten anything today, it would have come up. Eeeeww.)
I mean, seeing the Crow on a proper movie screen was fun, as was meeting people. Working on the dress was not-so-fun (I remember now why I don't work with knits!), but will be worth the aggravation in the long-term.. it will be lovely. I've concluded that I simply am not good at bobbin lace, and it's a nice experiment, but not for me.
Alas, I have my doubts that this week will be any better than the weekend was. I wonder if the bulk of my frustration and general anger is just really about reaching resolution?
8.27.00, 10:02pm
I'm quite the sight right now. Wearing a not-quite-finished gown, and tears streaming down my face..
Of course, I'm smiling at the same time.. two reasons: the dress is gorgeous and I'm watching La Traviata.
Why the hell do I love opera so much if it makes me cry? Even in the happy bits sometimes, mostly because I know they won't last. Though every time I see La Boheme or La Traviata, I wonder if it'll be a happy ending this time. Maybe she'll live, and they'll be in love forever. But it never happens that way.
8.25.00, 1:57pm
It seems to be my fate today to be the victim of everyone else's thoughtlessness. Not that I'm a saint in that area, mind you, but geez!
I've only been outside three times (once to the train, once from the train, once to go fetch lunch and return) and I've already lost count of the blinkerless cars. Some guy started up his truck and pulled out of his parking spot *without looking* not 6" from where I was, about to take a step into his path. Some other guy had to be poked by two of his buddies before he moved out of the door of the restaurant, so I could get past him to leave.
Am I just invisible today?
8.25.00, 6:23am
You know what bugs me? When I plan to do something (like.. Laundry), and I'm preparing myself to do it, and someone else goes and starts it for me, or just does it.
Once they've got it going, I'm screwed, since I can say, "I was going to do that," but never has anyone ever believes me.
8.24.00, 4:37pm
Maybe I'll just do laundry tonight. Lord knows I need to.
Perhaps I'll get lucky, and Mike *won't* be using the machine.
8.24.00, 4:17pm
I'm wondering if I'm going to be motivated to sew tonight. There are a couple of dresses I'd really like to make, and I rather think that I could rip one out tonight, if I'm in the right mood.
I think I have enough left over linen for the underdress, and I KNOW I have enough boning. The overdress would be a seperate piece, so I can make a few to mix & match. This one, the prototype, would be of that lovely black sheer with the butterflies. (I really hope it's washable!)
Perhaps the first part of my motivation will be to toss everything into the washer and pre-shrink it.
Or else I can work on the Neon Queen Agitation as the other stuff is getting shrunk. The lace for it is done, and if I can just find the @#$%^&*()_ bag with the netting and the zipper, we'll be all set. All I'll have to do is come up with the pattern.
Or else I'll save my linen for the Edwardian, and hunt up some other fabric for the underdress. I'm sure I have *something* that will work. And then I can just make it, and if it shrinks, I can pawn it off on one of my skinny friends.
8.24.00, 6:03am
I'm surprisingly cheerful today; I had a very hard time falling asleep last night (too much caffeine with dinner, I suppose.) But I'm awake, aware, and actually happy right now.
Well, standing on a dark beach, watching waves roll in, feeling them as much as hearing them, didn't hurt. (Even if the shoes I wore need a spin though the washer now; they smell of seaweed and have too much sand in them still.)
I guess I just need to be reminded, from time to time, that there is more to the world than the ratrace I'm stuck in.
8.23.00, 4:10pm
Wow. Managed to get though the day without actually getting upset at anything! Spooooky...
8.22.00, 4:30pm
New rant (about excercise) & a new picture of me. Whoo. Banner day.
8.22.00, 10:43am
I have come to the conclusion that HTML programs, like Dreamweaver, produce delibrately redundant and ugly, confusing code to keep users dependant on them.
8.22.00, 6:17am
When do we do the fall-back thing with the clocks that will give me an extra hour's sleep in the morning for a day or so? It's really dark when I leave the house.
Discovered a new band to get *really* hooked on.. Wench. I've heard two songs of theirs, but they're decidedly amazing. Sort of Dead Can Dance-ish.
I'm sure that as soon as I get their CD I'll be raving about it all over this page.
8.21.00, 4:28pm
Amuse me. I'm bored. I've been in a vaugely dissatisfied mood all day, and I can't think of what I want to do. I know what I need to do, sorta, and I know that there is some time-sensitive stuff I have to take care of, but it'll be too late by the time I get home.
At least I've realized that all I need to cook up an all-black Edwardian costume is the appropriate blouse; the skirt I wore today (circle skirt with a slight train) is correct, and I have an Edwardian corset that just needs a little help with the boning to fit correctly and comfortably.
This, of course, doesn't mean that I won't do up a full outfit, but if I get crunched for time, I'm not screwed.
8.21.00, 6:12am
I can't seem to figure out whyI'm so damn tired all of the time. I go to bed at a reasonable hour (usually around 10:30 if I'm up late), and wake up at an unreasonable one (5:00). If I go to bed much earlier, I'll lose most of my reading/being creative/keeping my life from centering around work time, and if I wake up later, I'll miss my train.
Ugh.
8.20.00, 12:28pm
Well, we blew off the party last night; no biggie. I'd have liked to have gone, but it would have been an hour-and-a-half drive, and the dress is exceedingly warm. If the pictures come out, though, we should have some good shots of it.
8.18.00, 8:24pm
We're lurching forward, stopping, lurching. All I can say is that somone had better be dead up ahead, because if there isn't a 10 car pileup up there, there is NO FUCKING EXCUSE for this mess.
8.18.00, 8:10pm
I'm so terribly bad at sitting still. My left knee is killing me. It can't actually *go* anyhwere.. the rest of me isn't too happy, either, but we're roughly 25 miles from Salinas, even if the traffic IS completely stopped.
8.18.00, 6:47pm
The bus is about to get hopelessly crowded. The driver isn't very good, either. Oh well, it's a learning experience.
8.18.00, 5:40pm
On the bus.. van, really. It was fairly late, but I'm glad to be on my way. I'm wondering if I should take a nap, or let the sleep dep give me the giggles tonight.
Hmmm.. if I avoid rice and bread and pasta and stuff at dinner, I bet I can get really trashed really quickly.
I have to remember to get one of those disposable cameras when we get to Monterey. (Since my camera was one of the items I managed to forget. Yay.
8.18.00, 4:22pm
For some reason, I'm noticing eyebrows today.
Why does it seem as if most females pluck/shave/wax the damn things off? A little is ok, keeps things neat and all (not that I bother, of course), but too much, where it looks like you just draw them in, looks really really nasty.
8.18.00, 6:20am
Well, the trains are screwed up today; they're using only one track, which is messing everything up. Yay.
I'm at the train station, waiting for a train to come by and let me go to work. I've got tons of stuff with me (usually it's just my coat and computer bag, but I've got a sleeping bag and duffel crammed with stuff for the weekend. I've got a few things that won't fit, for fear of squishing them: my red French hood, and my scepter for my Queen of Hearts costume.
My ruff and kitty ears are reasonably unsquishable.
Oh hell.. I not only forgot my book (I'm reading Poppy Z again), but I forgot my earring.
8.17.00, 6:15am
I'm all excited; I'm going dancing tomorrow night!
I tell ya.. it takes the simplest things to get me excited: dancing, a party, fabric.. I'm such a pleasure junkie.
I got the dress rough-finished last night; some of the satin decided not to catch when I was stitching the trim down, so I have to go in and try to fix it. Yay.
I think I'm going to buy myself one of those cording/trim feet. Then again, when am I ever going to do this again? Does it matter? I'll stop on the way home. *grin*
8.16.00, 4:02pm
Well, today's theme has been "How badly can jeni screw up?"
And friends, let me tell you.. I did pretty badly. Nothing major, of course. But lots of petty, little things, that pretty much only I care about.
I feel like I want to be sick, I'm all twisted up inside. I just don't handle stress at all well, I guess.
8.16.00, 6:07am
Wow. I went HOW many days before uploading? I don't like doing that if I can avoid it. (Then again, if I had my way, this text would be beaming itself to my website as I type it, and an automated process would make it update for me.)
Wouldn't wireless web *servers* be a neat idea..? Kinda pointless, though.
8.15.00, 4:04pm
You know what I dislike most about my job? The fact that I have to wait for other people to do their jobs so I can do mine. Grrr.
Which means that is someone dawdles, I'm screwed. I'm going to have a huge amount of work to do tomorrow, because a few people dragged their heels on the thing I'm currently working on.
8.15.00, 6:22am
I did it again.. overslept. I'm currently waiting for the second train (the one that gets me to work a little late, as opposed to a little early.)
I really need to find a way to get more hours in a day.. say 8 extra, that *nobody* but me can access. Then I can sleep for those hours, and do stuff for the other 24.
The scary thing is that I've wanted those extra 8 hours since I was in 6th grade. This *cannot* merely be a time-management issue. I think this is a "I'm still trying to do too much, and I can't figure out why I can't do everything I want to" thing.
And to think.. people can't seem to understand my my mom used to want to put candles that were lit at both ends on my birthday cakes. *laugh*
8.14.00, 4:42pm
Some minor reorganization. Albino Mutt has been moved out of the Geek directory, which is now only linked off of the archive pages.
I'll get on with the reeorganization of other bits of the site later. I'm currently distracted thinking about the changes I need to make to a dress so I can have a 'Queen of Hearts' costume for an Alice in Wonderland thing I'm going to.
8.14.00, 2:20pm
I totally need to remember to bring a pillow in to work, so I have something squishy to nap on.
8.14.00, 2:09pm
Ugh. I've had this plaguey headache for three days.. it's worse today, for some weird reason. Probably because I'm at work, and I just want to sleep. I think it's naptime.
8.14.00, 6:32am
Wow. Three days, no updates. Yeah, I've been slacking. Been going out and doing things with friends. And eating. Lots of eating.
There are some really good photos that came from this weekend. They will eventually get scanned, and put up here. (We finally got the machine with the flatbed scanner up and doing it's thing, anyhow. I can start getting *good* scans, instead of the icky striped ones I get off of that other scanner.)
Lemme see.. what were the high points? Japanese Tea Gardens in Golden Gate, Chinatown (20 yards of gorgeous fabric for $20!), dancing (I was much happier after I kicked off my shoes), the Pinatis, "Excuse, please. What is 'lollipop game?'", killer steaks, the hot tub, and Charlie's Angels.
Of course, unless you were there, you won't get all of the references. But.. it was a good weekend. Even if I did oversleep this morning, and want to go to work about as much as.. wait.. I always feel that way about work. I just don't wanna go this morning. But then again, when do I ever want to?
8.11.00, 1:52pm
I really wish people would ASK me where I wanted things before moving them on me. I really really do.
8.11.00, 1:06pm
Sitting on the train, wishing I wasn't so damn scruffy most of the time. How do those people who are always together get that way?
8.11.00, 7:55am
I dislike Dreamweaver enough to dedicate a rant to it.
8.10.00, 3:38pm
Realized after all of this time that some of the download links on my Fonts page were messed up. Fixed the two that I knew about.
8.10.00, 2:21pm
I'm playing with Dreamweaver at work, and I can honestly say, *this* site is never going to be done on that program. It's fine if you don't know HTML, but so far, I haven't been able to make it do anything I can't do as well (if not better) by hand.
And in around the same time, too.
8.9.00, 4:27pm
I've said it before, I'll say it again.. why do the regular commuters have to be inconvenienced by the Baseball fans? Can't we have our own train?
8.9.00, 12:52pm
Just dropped a bunch of stuff into the Archive
8.8.00, 7:46am
I have got such a low opinion of people today. I mostly did it to myself, thinking about politics, and people, and other stupidity, but.. ugh!
It's a good thing that I'm not a violent person. If I don't snap out of this, things could get really ugly.
Maybe I'll see if I can get to fight practice tonight, and pray that someone has loaner gear I can mooch. It might be nice to go smack at people with sticks.
8.8.00, 7:30am
I hate politics. Truly. You can't do anything without layers of motives and heaven forbid you contemplate doing *anything* simply because you feel like it.
What I don't get is how everyone thinks that Bush is doing this whole compassionate image.. two executions in one night? And one of the men possibly retarded? THIS is compassion? Give me disinterest, then.
How can anyone take this guy seriously?
8.8.00, 6:31am
New Rant.
8.7.00, 6:02am
Went to bed yesterday somewhere between 5 and 7 in the evening. Slept until 4:30 this morning. I can't even begin to tell you how good I feel at the moment!
8.6.00, 12:59pm
Somehow, I managed to get myself stupid drunk on two-and-a-half drinks last night. It was lovely. Met a few people from the list. Talked to this cute blonde guy all night. Didn't drink enough water at all, but still managed to escape a hangover. (I'm very lucky.)
And I looked adorable last night. I must have. People kept smiling at me and stuff. I am so totally not used to this!
8.5.00, 9:27pm
I'm so proud of myself. I've managed to do just about nothing today. I took a nice long nap this morning, did some reading, watched Steel Dawn (what a perfectly silly movie.. I remember loving it, though, and truthfully, I almost like it better now than I did then), got thourougly pissed at my sewing machine, and am currently getting ready to go out dancing.
Tonight, I look like a refugee from a RenFaire. Bodice, chemise, skirt.. ok, I'm wearing heels (which might change; I've gotta walk around for a few minutes).. but.. *laugh*
I've also come to the realization that with the exception of my shoes, everything I'm wearing is something I made: the bodice, the chemise, the skirt, my bloomers.. all of it.
Not too shabby.
It was weird; I must have looked better than usual yesterday -- Destruction smiled at me (niiiice eye candy, that one), and some guy gave me his phone number on the way home.
I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm really quite flattered. But it's just so *strange*! I don't get much attention from men at all usually. The only random strangers that talk to me are female.
8.4.00, 1:37pm
Ahh.. I walk in the way of the video card.
Which is to say, that I have temporarily patched the holes in the bottom of my shoes with video cards.
I really have to learn not to buy leather-soled shoes. I always walk too much in them, because they're so comfy, but I hate it when I wear them out.
8.3.00, 4:26pm
A new rant. First in about a month. Wow.
8.3.00, 6:42am
It looks like it's shaping up to be one of *those* days.
Can I just go back to bed now and save everyone the trouble of dealing with me?
8.2.00, 8:03pm
Will someone shut these damn political hangers-on analysts who are padding the hell out of the fucking GOP convention? It's interfering with the 1900 House marathon. I missed 1900 House the first time around, and I'd really like to watch it, not these yammering morons.
SHUT UP! These people will talk for three hours about a 10 minute speech. Geez!
God. I hate TV.
8.2.00, 4:05pm
So I'm finally hooking up with the SCA out here. Took me long enough to find people..
But the process got me thinking about the sheer number of names I've gone by over the past however many years.. I figured I'd be silly and list them.. why not, right?
- at birth: Jennifer Rebecca
- Hebrew name: Yohanna Rivka
- my "French" name (third grade French teacher made us take a French name to be used in class. We got to pick alphabetically by last name, which means that I got screwed, because just about everyone in my class had an A, B or C name. I *wanted* to be Brigitte.): Dominique
- shortly after birth through 7th grade: Jenny
- briefly in 7th grade, and whenever my mom wants to embarrass me: Jené
- about a day after that one, and ever since: jeni (lack of capitalization deliberate)
- sometime in high school, during my hippie/deadhead phase: freedom
Online and elsewhere
- '89: Eilonwy
- '92: Kitrynn, Kirry
- '95: Broceliande
- '97: Talerian
- '98: Rois
- SCA: Katherine O'Mally, Kit
(I wouldn't be surprised at all if I forgot some somewhere.. I've gone though a LOT of BBSs, MUDs, and alternate accounts.)
So, not counting "Kit," since it's a nickname of both Kitrynn and Katherine, I've gone by 14 names. This is, of course, not counting the insults regularly applied to me, like "Space Case" and stuff. Considering that I'm probably making more money than any of the jerks who taunted me regularly, I feel quite justified in forgetting them.
8.2.00, 6:21am
Whatever was with me yesterday is still with me. Ugh.
Though I'm not nearly as vomitous, so this may be hunger, since I sure didn't want to eat anything last night. I watched half of the PBS Viking thing, then realized I was too dead to appreciate it, and went to bed. Though before I shut the tube off, they threw a teaser about Vikings in Russia, which would go far to explain the similarities between Sarafan and Viking Dresses.
8.1.00, 4:23pm
Someone just walked past me with a mouthful of some sort of food (smells vaguely corn-based). Whatever is wrong with me is not just an "I'm hungry so I will feel sick" thing. I really wanted to vomit as soon as I smelled it.
8.1.00, 4:05pm
I feel like I wanna hurl.
You know how when you're really hungry, you feel like you want to throw up? And then you eat, and it's all better? Well, before lunch, I was so hungry I wanted to puke. After lunch, I felt worse.
That was a few hours ago. I still feel like shit. This sucks.
When I get home, I'm going to check mail, get some water, my big keyboard, and curl up in bed and work on stuff for the MUD. Then I will die, fall asleep, and hopefully feel better tomorrow.
8.1.00, 6:11am
Well, I didn't make my dress last night. Two reasons: there wasn't enough of the fabric I wanted to use, and the MUD is kicking back into high gear, and I've gone and committed myself to a 500 room zone. Should be fun!
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