Awful gaming quotes

"We don't want to go off the map, so maybe we should go the other way." - Jacob

"Do they give you meaty things or shiny things?" - Matt

"the big thumpy thing" - Matt

"I'm at the top. What do I see?" - Jacob
"Nothing." - Mike
"I'm going to attack the nothing."

"You're going to Celine, properly known as 'The Fairy Kingdom of Celine.'" - Mike
"That's a sign that your adventure is about to go wrong." - Matt

"I'm not being ridden by the gnome." - Matt

".. Free Range Dwarf." - Jed
"His name is Deus Ex Machina." - Mike
"And he'll kill you if you call him Deuce." - Matt

"You wander though the town and people are looking at you strangely." - Mike
"I'm checking to be sure my robes haven't got caught in my belt again." - Matt

"You were looking for the god Felonius - that's the next town over." - Matt

"Come on.. they're orcs. We can kill two per round!"
[roll] "Shit!"
[roll] "Shit!"
[roll] "Shit!"
[roll] "Shit!" - Jacob

"The cleric's getting a AXE whoopin'!" - Matt

"I can believe that the last salad I ate was a big green monster" - Matt

"I'm an 800-pound fish - I'm a half-orca!" - Matt

"The only thing you need to speak in Dragon is 'Don't kill me!'" - Mike
"or 'you've lost weight.'" - Matt

"Oh no! he's cast a meat tenderizer spell on my sword!" - Matt

"Intimidate is on here - it's a skill I didn't take." - Jeni
"The Barbarian version is Body Order." - Matt

"I wonder if ninjas sleep on Kung-Futons." - Matt

"Ok, wearing clothes puts me over my encumbrance limit." - Mike
"Next time, don't take a female elf with 80 pound breasts." - Matt

"It says 'Push or Drag,' so I can carry five times more if I'm in drag." - Mike

"How could a toad be dangerous?" - Mike
"If you put it in your sling..." - Jacob

"Toads don't have teeth. This one is elderly; it has dentures." - Mike

"Sure.. everybody's hat has to have a resevoir tip." - Matt

"You're all first level: the toad may live longer than you." - Mike